Building networks will change in the next following years, considering the shift towards building up start-ups, towards individuals working for themselves and people simply seeking support in their career or personal lives (as these become busier for everyone due to the on the go lifestyle). More and more people acknowledge that their network support is actually very much needed in their own development. I’ve too realised that if I really want to succeed, I need to develop my own supportive network. Keep on reading to find out how to build your supportive network in 2020.
Tired of taking decisions or of feeling like all the decisions you’ll take, will have a tremendous impact on your future? It’s the way we look at decision taking that makes you feel anxious. We’re going to change that today – I trust you. Just keep on reading my top five tips to help you make important life decisions.
Eliminate your inner fear
When faced with an important life decision, you might be feeling fear. It’s normal. When the brain shifts between what it knows (the common known – your life as it is now) and the future, you might experience scary thoughts. You might even ask yourself ‘what happens if…?’ without expecting or having a rational answer. That’s just your inner fear breaking through. It’s very important that you acknowledge that and be aware that you’re so much more than a person being paralysed in fear.
I would suggest to come up with a list of your best resilient qualities by answering the following questions:
- When was I last resilient?
- How did I show strength while in a similar situation?
- What are my best qualities?
- Do I consider myself powerful?
Ask yourself the right questions
When you ask yourself the right questions, you get the best answers, RIGHT?
So, why not do just that? Start by asking yourself a set of right questions in relation to the specific decision you are about to take. Scrap the ‘what happens if…’ BS and focus on the right things. You’ll notice how confident you’ll soon become.
I’m going to include some examples below, some might apply to your case, but some might not:
- What percentage of the decision is an absolute yes?
- What holds me back? (we know it’s fear, so think about the practical things that might hold you back)
- How will this decision contribute to the lifestyle I want to achieve?
- Would I break away from my comfort zone if I take this decision today?
- Will my intangible assets (such as skills) improve if I take the decision?
- Will I become more independent?
- What is the outcome I’m after?
The Fear Setting Excercise
This exercise belongs to the lifestyle guru Tim Ferris and if you’ve read my new e-book ‘Create a Life You Love’, I’m sure you’re now the master of this exercise. It will teach you how to define your fears, instead of your goals.
The premeditatio malorum or pre-meditation of evils is a Stoic concept which aims towards preventing the bad in your head from happening in real life. As Stoic Seneca noted ‘It’s not because things are difficult THAT we dare not to venture, but we dare not to venture that they are difficult’. In essence, fear is your biggest enemy. The one thing that will set you back when you want to finally do it. Fear is responsible for not going for that job you were unqualified for, for you not following drama school, for you not learning how to code and many others. Fear is just what’s happening inside our heads when we’re not ready to make ten million dollars a year or when we’re put in front of something so big that will change our lives.
How do you go about eliminating fear and discovering the strength within you to take action? It’s really straightforward but after you identify what you’re scared of you have to make a priority list. You’ll notice that you’ll be scared of the impacts of your actions; for instance, having to go to learn code after work three times a week will mean that your relationships can suffer. You won’t be saying “Yes!” easily when your friend / partner want to hang out, because being busy for three times a week, means that you need to run your errands during the days you have left. Or you won’t be able to look after your brother’s kid after work, because you’re actually doing something for yourself. Take action now and create a life you love!
It will help you define your fears and come up with solutions. Grab a pen and create your three columns:
- Define – get detailed about the worst things that can happen if you’re going to take that decision (between 10 and 20 actions)
- Prevent – answer what you could do to prevent each of the worst things from happening
- Repair – list down ways of repairing the potential damage
After you identify these, ask yourself what may the benefits of an attempt or partial success be? Imagine how your life would look like. Write them down.
The last step is to assess your cost of inaction. What can happen in 6 months, 1 year, 3 years if you don’t take action? You can look at it from an emotional, physical, financial perspective. Note these down as well.
At the end of this exercise, you’ll be able to have a clear view of what scares you out and how you can prevent the bad things from happening, even for a little.
Go with the flow
Accept that some things need to happen in a certain way and it’s okay. Start to go with the flow and you’ll feel less pressure to come up with the ‘right’ decision.
In fact, all decisions you will take will be right because they will lead you to a certain place in your life, leading you to other opportunities. Just don’t forget to practice self-care while on your journey.
Don’t regret your choices
Another important piece of advice that I can give to you is not to regret the decision you’ve made, constantly wondering what would have happened if you went the other way?
I’ve constantly came across this when speaking to different people. I’ve heard so many times statements such as ‘I shouldn’t have chosen to get into Med school, working in advertising would have been a much better choice for me’ or ‘Ah if only I’ve chosen to go for that interview yesterday, I’m sure I’d have gotten something out of it, instead of going to that other meeting which proved to be a waste of time.’
Sometimes you might feel so disappointed because you get stuck in the feeling of regret. I’m sure the doctor guy will come to discover that Med school was actually a good choice after graduation or even if not, the choice is his to go study / work in another industry. Getting glued to feeling sorry for yourself and not doing anything about it will kill all your dreams and impact your life in a negative way. Not happy with the outcomes? Change your course, but remember you must have learnt something new along the way. No decision is bad, as long as you know how to influence it and adapt it to your latest needs.
These were my five tips to help you make important life decisions. I hope you’ve found these useful and as always if you have any specific questions, let me know in the comment section below.
Until next time,
Hello there beautiful people,
I’m still talking about 2020 as we’re still in January, but that’s because it still is the beginning of the year. We still have so much time on our hands to make things happen and smash our goals, right? Drawing from my experience in 2019 when I was involved in perhaps too many projects at once and I did manage to finish the work in time, I’m now sharing 10 ways to be more successful in 2020.
Hello and welcome to my #NGCareerSeries! In today’s post we’re drawing on my past experience with important meetings. Sometimes they flopped and sometimes they were absolutely amazing. It’s up to us to ‘smash’ those meetings, so let’s have a look at my 5 Top Tips on Preparing for Important Meetings You Need to Know Now. Do you have what it takes?
Hello there gorgeous ladies,
The beauty of being strong women stays in the fact that we can think strategically and strive to motivate ourselves, but also we’re preoccupied with our beauty rituals. I see a powerful woman as a force able to be herself and look her best at all times. How to choose the right perfume has been a topic that I’ve always wanted to share with you because I’m basically obsessed with smelling good and got to know quite a bit about these wonderful products over the years. I feel that February 2020 is the perfect time to invest in a new fragrance to last you over the colder months of the year, don’t you?
If you’ve downloaded my FREE New Year’s Resolution’s Template, you must have already planned your 2020 goals which is absolutely amazing! You’re one step closer to achieving them in the New Year. However, the real question is, how to keep up with these New Year Resolutions? Let’s have a (quick) read of my 5 tips to help you keep THEM.
Hello my lovelies,
Who would have thought that this weather will make some of us want to just chill and be less productive? I’m one of the people who this year around, I became really affected by the low temperatures, but quite frankly my workload doesn’t seem to care too much because it’s still there regardless of my mood. So, how do I go on and trick my mind into thinking more positively about it and still be productive? I’ll show you exactly what to do to feel empowered and ready to action your day!
Finding your inspiration can be challenging, especially when you’re always trying to be the best version of yourself. You might feel tired at times of this constant desire to become even better, but in reality, you shouldn’t be. All of us should be capable of realising that we evolve anyway and it should be an opportunity for all of us to enjoy the process, without being too worried when we’re hitting the milestones. I’ve been there and today, I really hope to make a difference in how you seek your inspiration in life and how you enjoy moving. Let’s break down the 5 ways to find your inspiration in life and keep moving.
Get inspired by reading topics that keep you moving
Reading can tremendously inspire you, if you read the right books for you. I usually read personal development books, emotional intelligence and inspiring business stories. Some books get me so pumped out than I love reading them in the morning for that extra energy boost (alongside my coffee drank straight from my Starbucks bottle on the tube). Find topics that inspire you and open up your mind! As a recommendation, I will put together the books that keep me moving in 2020:
- Obviously Awesome: How to Nail Product Positioning so Customers Get It, Buy It, Love It by April Dunford:
- How to be a Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso (founder of NastyGal). Find it here:
The 100-Year Life: Living and Working in an Age of Longevity by Lynda Gratton:
Focus on your side hustle and watch it grow
Whatever that you’re passionate about outside work, make sure you focus on it. Develop a hustle out of it and make your own money on the side. It’s so rewarding to know that thanks to your native talent you earned something even though it’s a very small amount to begin with. Think about it, the opportunities are endless. Your motivation for your side hustle will never end because the rewards are immense. This passion inside of you will keep you moving.
There are many things you can do, but choose one that you know inside of you that you can maintain. You might like interior design like me, but actually love creating clothes, for example. Sew until you become the expert you want to be, find the time you need for your passion and constantly inspire yourself from the projects you have.
Focus on you more than you focus on others
I say this in a very nice way, but focusing on you it’s more important than focusing on other people’s lives. One thing I understood in life is that we’re all on different journeys. Some people get to marry the love of their life while they’re young, some decide not to have kids, some start their own businesses and so on. They all do it for the right reasons for them. You shouldn’t be feeling in any way about other people’s lives. I guess our way of comparing our journey to other people’s, comes from thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side. We all know it, it’s not like that. Focus on you always.
Do things that spark something in you
What small things make you happy? I love listening to music and signing on the street (sorry not sorry if you hear me in Chelsea one day). I like healthy eating and meditation. I love looking my best, so I also go to the gym although I won’t lie and say I enjoy it; I enjoy the results. When I do these things, I feel that I’m winning. Find your things that make you win and enjoy your life.
Thank you so much for stopping by and don’t forget to subscribe to my e-mail list to receive more inspiration.
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Lots of love,
Job interviews can be nerve wracking as emotions can easily takeover and make you forget your thoughts. Today, I’m sharing with you my 10 tips on showing confidence in job interviews that will make YOU bag the job you’re dreaming of.
Be on TIME
Remember the basics. Be at least 10 minutes early for your interview. Think about what happens behind the scenes. Your interviewer will receive a call or email from reception saying that you’ve arrived. This will give them piece of mind that you’re on time and they can follow their day agenda even after they finished meeting with you. Be on time and you’ll score bonus points.
Change your perspective
Job interviews are dialogues, an opportunity for the company to get support and your opportunity to help out. It’s not just one way. They basically need you more than you need them because there are so many companies who are recruiting, but only one you. Bear this in mind next time you’re sitting in an interview.
Look the part to play the part
Look professional. You need to look like you’ve already bagged the job. You want your interviewer to believe that you fit in perfectly. The look really depends on your industry, so make sure you do your research before your interview day. For most industries, wear a blazer and a skirt if you’re a lady or a blazer and pants if you’re a man.
Show your expertise
Everything you say needs to link back to your work experience. There are studies which show that people trust experts more. Make sure you talk like one and expect your interviewer to really trust what you’re saying.
Speak with confidence
Make sure you speak with confidence. Your interviewer, most likely future manager needs to trust you to get on with the job. Be confident and make eye contact. Sometimes, nerves can make us speak fast, so make sure you’re controlling your speech by speaking slowly but with confidence.
Make sure you give them insights
Presenting your interviewer with blank information about your past experiences won’t do. Make sure you include insights, data and numbers when it comes to your performance. Even though you’re not a numbers person, make sure you know your facts and figures before going for your interview. You can use percentages to make the conversation flow nicer and don’t forget to present them with averages in your industry and give examples of situations when you surpassed them. By doing this, you ensure that your interviewer clearly understands how you performed in your previous roles.
Don’t forget about the basics
Get plenty of food and enough water before your interview. You don’t want to feel low on energy during your meeting.
Ask yourself the tricky questions BEFORE they ask you first
We all have questions we don’t like to answer because they might be tricky. Think about what it could come up and write down your answers. Prepare yourself answering these questions and make sure you nail them.
Drop in sentences from the job description
Got a job spec? You probably do, so please include terms and expressions from this. You’d probably have said the same things, but use other words, so take a look at the job description when doing your preparation. You’ll speak their language and bag extra points. You’ll surely win them over.
Invited to the second round?
Great! I know it’s extra work but if you really want to bag that job, make a presentation with what you can bring to the table in the next 30,60,90 days after joining them. This presentation is not about your orientation around the office, it’s about what YOU can do to solve the problem they brought you on board to solve. Go into enough detail to make them understand your future plan, but don’t go into unnecessary details. It’s your opportunity to pitch yourself.
That was it! I’m sure that these 10 Tips on Showing Confidence in Job Interviews will help you bagging the job you’re dreaming about. I have done tons of research before and did apply every single tip from this article. They worked like a charm every time for me and I’m sure they will for you too ✨
Best of luck,
Feeling a bit unmotivated at work? It’s quite normal to lose your motivation at some point, so don’t panic. We’re not robots, although sometimes I wish we were. We need to constantly adapt to living conditions, our tired body, consumed minds and busy lifestyle. There are times when we had enough, we need to take a breather and then start all over again, perhaps with a different perspective. These are 6 ways to find your motivation at work.