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Self development is an amazing thing to focus on. After all, you should do your best to improve YOUR life. Do you happen to feel like making a decision is hard and you get lost during the process?

Trust me, we all have dark thoughts from time to time. Being emotional and feeling overwhelmed is completely normal. However, I’m here to help you as much as I can because I’ve also been through what you’re feeling right now.

Well, I’m here to give you my best pieces of advice when it comes to decision making. Are you ready to embark on this amazing journey?

What does the decision-making process actually mean?

Everyone has to make certain decisions during their lifetime. The process itself is called the decision making process.

It is very important that during this so-called ritual to have a clear mind, to be able to concentrate and to be aware that you have to weigh what your mind tells you and what your heart tells you.

To follow your mind or your heart?

As I have already said in the previous paragraph, a balance must be created between your mind heart. Your heart and your spirit are the things that differentiate you from a robot. Having your own feelings, preferences and fears will influence you a lot in making a decision.

On the other hand, it is important that the situation itself is also passed through the filters of your mind. Why? you ask.

Well, the mind plays a very important role in this process. You need to be aware of the consequences your decision will cause. Calculate carefully the situation you are placed in.

How’s it looking so far?

About attention and concentration

Although people often make good decisions while they are stressed or in a hurry, my advice is for you to focus a little on the decision you are about to make.

You don’t have to rush into a decision, but at the same time you don’t have to think too much either. You will now have to balance things again. If you focus all your attention and time on the decision you are about to make, you will end up missing the point.

Find some free time, try not to panic and clear your mind. Before long, you’ll be able to make a decision. To make your job easier, the whole process can take place in a private, safe and quiet place.

Don’t be afraid of a bad decision

You know what they say, bad decisions make good stories! All kidding aside now. Never be afraid of a bad decision. After all, you did what you thought was right at the time. Everyone makes mistakes. Besides, those “mistakes” will help you in the future. You will know what to adjust in your life and how to look at certain situations differently.

I can say that I have also made a lot of bad decisions. With time, I understood I didn’t have to feel guilty anymore. I learned that I needed to be more careful and focus on my own self-development.

The point is, now that I know that everything is going to take a turn for the better at some point: I am absolutely not afraid of the process of making a decision anymore.

Taking everything into consideration, with a little self-confidence, focus and balance, the process of making a decision becomes simple. Put your anxiety aside and think about what’s best for your future. I think this may be the most valuable piece of advice I can give you right now.

Always remember that you never stops learning. Put your fears aside and really live.

Below, I’ll attach a completely free worksheet. I want to help as much as I can in your self development journey.

If you have any questions, slide in my Instagram DM’s (@notagirlygal) and let me know.

Until next time,

Miss Andrada

XOXO

Tired of taking decisions or of feeling like all the decisions you’ll take, will have a tremendous impact on your future? It’s the way we look at decision taking that makes you  feel anxious. We’re going to change that today – I trust you. Just keep on reading my top five tips to help you make important life decisions.

#NGSmashingItSeries

Eliminate your inner fear 

When faced with an important life decision, you might be feeling fear. It’s normal. When the brain shifts between what it knows (the common known – your life as it is now) and the future, you might experience scary thoughts. You might even ask yourself ‘what happens if…?’ without expecting or having a rational answer. That’s just your inner fear breaking through. It’s very important that you acknowledge that and be aware that you’re so much more than a person being paralysed in fear. 

5 Tips for Taking the Most Important Life Decisions

I would suggest to come up with a list of your best resilient qualities by answering the following questions: 

  • When was I last resilient?
  • How did I show strength while in a similar situation?
  • What are my best qualities?
  • Do I consider myself powerful?

Ask yourself the right questions 

When you ask yourself the right questions, you get the best answers, RIGHT? 

So, why not do just that? Start by asking yourself a set of right questions in relation to the specific decision you are about to take. Scrap the ‘what happens if…’ BS and focus on the right things. You’ll notice how confident you’ll soon become.

5 Tips for Taking the Most Important Life Decisions

I’m going to include some examples below, some might apply to your case, but some might not:

  • What percentage of the decision is an absolute yes?
  • What holds me back? (we know it’s fear, so think about the practical things that might hold you back)
  • How will this decision contribute to the lifestyle I want to achieve?
  • Would I break away from my comfort zone if I take this decision today?
  • Will my intangible assets (such as skills) improve if I take the decision?
  • Will I become more independent?
  • What is the outcome I’m after?

The Fear Setting Excercise 

This exercise belongs to the lifestyle guru Tim Ferris and if you’ve read my new e-book ‘Create a Life You Love’, I’m sure you’re now the master of this exercise. It will teach you how to define your fears, instead of your goals.

The premeditatio malorum or pre-meditation of evils is a Stoic concept which aims towards preventing the bad in your head from happening in real life. As Stoic Seneca noted ‘It’s not because things are difficult THAT we dare not to venture, but we dare not to venture that they are difficult’. In essence, fear is your biggest enemy. The one thing that will set you back when you want to finally do it. Fear is responsible for not going for that job you were unqualified for, for you not following drama school, for you not learning how to code and many others. Fear is just what’s happening inside our heads when we’re not ready to make ten million dollars a year or when we’re put in front of something so big that will change our lives. 

5 Tips for Taking the Most Important Life Decisions

How do you go about eliminating fear and discovering the strength within you to take action? It’s really straightforward but after you identify what you’re scared of you have to make a priority list. You’ll notice that you’ll be scared of the impacts of your actions; for instance, having to go to learn code after work three times a week will mean that your relationships can suffer. You won’t be saying “Yes!” easily when your friend / partner want to hang out, because being busy for three times a week, means that you need to run your errands during the days you have left. Or you won’t be able to look after your brother’s kid after work, because you’re actually doing something for yourself. Take action now and create a life you love!

It will help you define your fears and come up with solutions. Grab a pen and create your three columns:

  • Define – get detailed about the worst things that can happen if you’re going to take that decision (between 10 and 20 actions)
  • Prevent – answer what you could do to prevent each of the worst things from happening
  • Repair – list down ways of repairing the potential damage

After you identify these, ask yourself what may the benefits of an attempt or partial success be? Imagine how your life would look like. Write them down. 

The last step is to assess your cost of inaction. What can happen in 6 months, 1 year, 3 years if you don’t take action? You can look at it from an emotional, physical, financial perspective. Note these down as well.

At the end of this exercise, you’ll be able to have a clear view of what scares you out and how you can prevent the bad things from happening, even for a little.

Go with the flow

Accept that some things need to happen in a certain way and it’s okay. Start to go with the flow and you’ll feel less pressure to come up with the ‘right’ decision.

In fact, all decisions you will take will be right because they will lead you to a certain place in your life, leading you to other opportunities. Just don’t forget to practice self-care while on your journey.

Don’t regret your choices

Another important piece of advice that I can give to you is not to regret the decision you’ve made, constantly wondering what would have happened if you went the other way?

I’ve constantly came across this when speaking to different people. I’ve heard so many times statements such as ‘I shouldn’t have chosen to get into Med school, working in advertising would have been a much better choice for me’ or ‘Ah if only I’ve chosen to go for that interview yesterday, I’m sure I’d have gotten something out of it, instead of going to that other meeting which proved to be a waste of time.’ 

Sometimes you might feel so disappointed because you get stuck in the feeling of regret. I’m sure the doctor guy will come to discover that Med school was actually a good choice after graduation or even if not, the choice is his to go study / work in another industry. Getting glued to feeling sorry for yourself and not doing anything about it will kill all your dreams and impact your life in a negative way. Not happy with the outcomes? Change your course, but remember you must have learnt something new along the way. No decision is bad, as long as you know how to influence it and adapt it to your latest needs. 

5 Tips for Taking the Most Important Life Decisions

These were my five tips to help you make important life decisions. I hope you’ve found these useful and as always if you have any specific questions, let me know in the comment section below.

Until next time,

Andrada (NotAGirlyGal)